The moments that are worst,
The excitement
When at first I glance
Across some guiltless thing
And my mind is set to wandering
So suddenly toward you
And thinking how
I have to show you this,
Or want to teach you thus
The flashing future images of us
My mind has not yet learned
To keep at bay.
The times I’ve turned to say
Some silly thing to make you laugh
Or share some song to sing.
Abrupt imagining
Of when next I’ll see you smile
While simply organizing thoughts.
The times I almost buy you
Something I just saw,
All instantly followed by the raw,
Unfettered pain
Reeling sickness through my brain.
Plunging depths of sudden dread
When innocently wond’ring
Where you’ve gone
And then recall, so sharply
“He is dead.”
Oh, God, the hole.
I feel it,
Like a crater in my mind
Like a void within my soul
Like a gaping wound
Left open to the air,
I am bereft my heart, and left apart,
But I still feel you there.

– s. Clark